one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have.
no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation.
no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying.
no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.
no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.
a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age.
Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse.
I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships.
The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery.
i did not anticipate street fighter 6 to draw in an ERPer demographic but SO many people are just sitting in battle hub talking about how much they wanna fuck their avatars. anyways gollum is here taking pics of this girl’s ass on his phone
I remember when I was in Milwaukee I saw a cop get gunned down by a makeshift mg made from mufflers and stop signs and one of the stray bullets hit a weather balloon and suffocated dozens of children
Context?????????
What’s your handle on Reddit so I can give you some good karma and maybe some gold, too. Off that Reddit variety. The gold, that is. That white crystal shit? That powder that you are doing on the regular with my dad and uncle behind my back? That’s not “productive powder” that’s Dummy Dust.
Bellatrix
